Thursday, February 01, 2007

dead moms club one year anniversary


February 10 will be one year since my mother died. She was sick for a long time with COPD, a lung disease for those of you not up with the Sick Mom Lingo. I shot this image at her wake- the kids are most of her grand children, two of which are mine. There was a moment when all of them just kind of made their way up, no one prodded them to, they just went up naturally. The room became really quiet, except for the muffled sounds of people noticing. How natural for me to see this, as children were always so drawn to my Mom, and she was to them. Her coffin is draped in a quilt she made with my brother's and sister's hand prints and drawings back when easy to use fabric transfers didn't exist! My Mom painstakingly crafted this tribute to our childhood, as I in turn created this image as a tribute to her death, surrounded by her creative expressions- quilts, dolls and the promise of youth. Beautiful floral arrangements made by her family filled the room.
I miss my Mom so much and wish she could see all of the beautiful things I am doing with my life, how my children are growing and changing. I took over my childhood home and am lovingly renovating it with my husband- I wish she could see all that we have done and are going to do still. She appreciated old houses and all of their charm.
On a shoot a little bit ago I had the opportunity to talk with two sisters who had recently lost their mom. We had a really great talk about all of the things associated with being in the 'dead moms club' and how angry we are and how sad. It was great to laugh and yell and not care what we said because we knew all of us would understand, as only those in the club do. So for those of you who still have your Mom in your life, love them, appreciate them, hug them!

3 comments:

Mary said...

Carla...all i can say is wow. I can't even tell you how much this touched me. The love in your words and the honesty...just amazing! Thank you so much for sharing.

m:)

photomama said...

I am glad to know that what I said touched you- sometimes it can feel so isolating going through all of this. I debated even posting this- I didn't want to offend anyone with a picture of my dead Mom! But she was pretty offensive so I went with it! ;) I want people to be able to identify if they can and know that they are not alone in their grief and anger, or their healing...

Bizibit said...

what a beautiful picture. May 27th will be the 13 year anniversary of my mom's death...1/2 my life she has been gone. I refused to go in the church till the closed her casket and refused to go to her burial. Now I kind of wish I would have done both.