Thursday, May 10, 2007

the happiest of mother's days

Mother's Day is this Sunday and if you haven't either gotten your Mom something or are planning on doing something, you still have a few days left! Now get off your butt and do it! In honor of Mother's Day, I am posting a mother's post. Confession: my son has a mouthful of cavities! Sounds like a silly confession, but boy did it make me feel like a horrible mother! To add insult to injury, the way the dentist told me made me feel worse- totally judged and basically like I am not taking my son's dental health seriously at all. In light of this I should have run for the hills, but I didn't. I stayed. Two hellish dental visits later, I called up and said I was changing dentists, that she and Jack were just not a fit. He was so terrified of going to the dentist- and why wouldn't he be? The last time he went he was restrained (sometimes a necessity, I realize) but drenched in sweat and screaming about how much it hurt him. She only used the topical jelly that is supposed to numb your mouth, tried some gas b/c the last visit was so bad and he still was in pain. You know what she said? That he was 'the boy who cried wolf' and that she KNOWS it isn't hurting him! I can't believe I didn't physically assault her- my gut reaction was to stop everything and leave. But I totally didn't! I felt like she was the professional and that I should trust her. This feeling has been shared by other client's of hers who agree that her bedside manner sucks and that she comes across as super judgmental. We have all left there with our parenting tails between our legs, feeling like losers! And then along comes Teresa Wagner, a wonderful friend and dental assistant who works with my new favorite person in the world, Dr. Neil!
We went to Shapiro Family Dentistry in Wethersfield and had the BEST experience with both kids! I brought Jack back for his extensive work and he was awesome- was so chill and relaxed. It was all due to Dr. Neil's demeanor and Teresa and Mr. Thirsty! They made everything fun and had Dora on to distract. He never saw any needles, and was just a doll! After the novacaine, Dr. Neil started to work and Jack said it hurt- what did Dr. Neil do? He BELIEVED MY SON, and gave him more novacaine! I was super amped up the whole time, actually on the verge of tears, truth be told. That last experience just really shook me up- I mean, I am supposed to be his protector, his voice! I felt like I failed him and now felt totally like I had redeemed myself! It was a very triumphant parenting day! If you don't have kids this can sound so trivial, but believe me, it isn't.

Another parenting issue I struggle with is wokring so much lately. While I think it is so important for my children to see their Mom being a positive role model, being creative and making it on her own as a successful business woman, at the same time I really struggle with leaving them so much. Having been a stay at home Mom since the beginning, this is a new and sometimes scary parenting journey for us, but I am confident that we will all come out ok in the end for it! It all goes back to one of the last letters I ever got from my Mom, who had devoted all of her time and energy into us kids, she said 'always give yourself a creative outlet- don't lose yourself totally in your kids, they will always be there for you but you also need something that is all yours.' I am trying to honor that for myself, for her and for my children! Happy Mother's Day!


Orchard Cove Photography (Amanda Harris) said...

You are so awesome and I have no doubt you are a phenomenal mother (can't wait to meet the kiddos). Keep believing in yourself and doing what you need to do. I bet that when you come home from shooting you are so amped up that you are a BETTER Mom.

That dentist sounds like a meanie. When I ask you for a Hartford dentist once we move please don't send me to her :(

Orchard Cove Photography (Amanda Harris) said...

PS - Of course Teresa Wagner is the COOLEST and would be an excellent dental assistant and she would have a toy called Mr. Thirsty. I want to go to her - I hate going to the dentist and that scrapey noise is like fingernails on a chalkboard for me!

Teresa Wagner said...

carla i am in tears, you are a amazing mother and person. Way to go!
Love the pic of your mom in the park. She is beautiful! And you on your weddding day, WOW!

Studio Foto said...

Carla- you have such a way with words- I think you are as good a writer as you are a photographer... And you are a super mom! I hope I can be half as cool of a mom as you when the time comes! I love the older picture of your mom in the park- she looks like a Hollywood star- gorgeous! And the picture of Georgie & Jack holding hands- WOW! They are such sweet little monkeys!- Love, Krystal

Mary Bess said...

love you! i'm so blessed to have someone like you in my life.


Tere @ My Precious Studio said...

Don't guilt and motherhood go together so well?
My brother-in-law took his no nonsense 9 year old to the dentist. she was getting novacane, which the dr told her wouldn't hurt.
She jumped back as she was being given the shot and yelled, "you lied to me bitch!"
True story.