Thursday, May 15, 2008

my little boy jack



This morning Jack told me that there was something serious going on at school... and with the world's saddest little voice proceeded to tell me that I could no longer walk him down from the caf to his class each morning as I have been doing for two years. At first I was like, OK, I understand (I read the detailed note sent home explaining how they are preparing the kindergarten classes for first grade) but boy when we got to school and were waiting for his class to line up for the walk my heart felt like it was being squeezed too tight and I got teary and choked up. Jack was trying so hard not to cry and be a big boy, because I was explaining how this was just preparing him for 'big boy first grade' and that I was so proud of him.

See, Jack transitioned me into the world of being a parent. He was my first, true pure love- we have a bond that no one else has with the other, that of mother and son, first born. My little Jack Bibs.

I am crying as I write this, not for the simple reason of not being able to walk my son to class but because he is on his way to becoming a bona fide KID, of the 'stop cuddling me mom' variety and I am just not ready for it. Jack is my cuddle bug, my little guy, my monkey...

I know I have to step back and let him venture out on his own at some point, but I feel like I just popped this kid out and now he's reading and writing and growing up all fast....

OK, gotta go cry!!

10 comments:

Jacob Bergmeier said...

Your openness to letting us see your inner soul continues to amaze me...

Thank you, Carla...

Robin Dini Photography said...

the picture and the write up...sniff sniff. you put it right there! i can't wait to feel that.

raw photo design said...

Dude, Avery's going on the bus for the first time in August. I know I'm going to need a whole day off of work to recooperate. That shot is amazing.

MITSTUDIO said...

So, I sit here with tears because my son was just that little boy yesterday and today he is cramming to finish his Sr. year. I choked up last night as he said Mom there's a movie I want to see and I said great we can see it together and it comes out December 12th and he will be away at college.

Just yesterday he was my Joshie Boy and today he is almost a man on his own.

Cherish, cherish, cherish. I wish somedays I had a time machine to go back.

Blessings on your journey

Orchard Cove Photography said...

You are so cute - you're making ME cry. That picture of him is so awesome- running towards his future. He will be a good kid.

carla ten eyck said...

I just remembered that he was running towards me in that shot- and it made me a little reflective and realize that even though he may look like he is moving away he is also coming back to his crazy sad old momma in the end...

thanks for your support guys!
xxoo

Beyond The Lens Photography said...

Carla...Have no fear....that special bond never goes away. I have the same thing with my oldest son. He's going to be 11 on Sunday and he's still my number one. They get older, but they always know where they came from. Even though he's all growd up and what not, he lets me know on his own terms that we still share something special. I'm not allowed to kiss him in public anymore, but when he's had a rough day he comes running with a big hug and a "I just wanted to let you know I love you!"....Thanks so much for sharing :)

E. Broderick Photography said...

wow. Carla--this post was so touching. And that shot is stunning. I was thinking along these same lines this past week b/c of Mother's Day. My baby boy is only 3 1/2, but it is crazy how quickly they grow up. I chaperoned his first field trip a few weeks ago and he didn't even sit with me on the bus! Little Big Man.

Teresa Wagner said...

OMG! I'm in tears, you have a super kid and you are a super mom!

Tania Sones Photography said...

Wow Carla. Gorgeous shot.
Your story is perfectly spoken :-)